What is the most Jalop new car you can buy?

"BrownMiataDieselWagon" (opporamblings) 10/30/2013 at 11:34 • Filed to: Jalop cars

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I know most Jalops/Opponauts don't buy new cars, but if you had to buy a new one, what is the most "Jalop" car that you can buy?

This is what I came up with:

Jetta Sportwagen TDI in brown. Thoughts?

Jagvar > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 10:36

0

I'd say you've pretty much nailed it. Toffee Brown Metallic looks damn good on the wagon. And it's hard to believe that something built on the Golf platform has so much cargo space!

Casper > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 10:37

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That is about as far from anything I would look at as you can get. My answer would be one of the following:
Datsun Z432 (or any 240Z really).
Singer 911
93 RX-7 R1 with a PP 20B

.... or one of the thousand other cool cars worth driving.

Joe_Limon > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 10:38

7

Of course the answer is miata.

I do like my diesels and wagons, and although that car hits the right check boxes, there is no way in hell I would buy that. It reeks of minivan. I would much sooner get an awd subaru outback.

CalzoneGolem > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 10:38

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The FR-S certainly has to be up there. Light rwd sports car with manual option.

duurtlang > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 10:44

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Every car could qualify, but I personally wouldn't pick this. It's an aged (mk7 wagon is already available in Europe) but sensible family car/commuter with a quite generic design and an ugly color.

CalzoneGolem > Jagvar 10/30/2013 at 10:45

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I'm not a fan of red cars normally but a sportwagon looks sooo right in red.

TheBaron2112 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 10:47

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I'm sorry. I have to break with the Jalop stereotype.

Brown is an awful color.

AW46M3 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 10:48

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Cayman S

anonsagainstanonymous > CalzoneGolem 10/30/2013 at 10:51

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I'll go with this one as well.

Jagvar > Casper 10/30/2013 at 10:55

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The question was what is the most Jalop NEW car you can buy.

Casper > Jagvar 10/30/2013 at 10:58

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The Singer is new. Any Z432 you could find would be new. The RX-7 would be like new since everything would be new on it.

As far as more cookie cutter, it would be a BRZ or an M BMW...

jordbird > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 11:01

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As far as new cars go;
Miata if you don't have kids or bags of money
Cayman S if you don't have kids but do have bags of money
GTI or Golf TDI Wagon if you have kids but no bags of money
E63 AMG Wagon if you have kids and bags of money

Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 11:06

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Brown Base Model Mercedes C220 Diesel Wagon with a sitck. You can buy such a thing here in indonesia.

Your boy, BJR > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 11:24

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Is it? Or are you an awful person? LOOK INTO YOUR HEART, LAD!

BrownMiataDieselWagon > Aya, Almost Has A Cosmo With Toyota Engine Owned by a BMW. 10/30/2013 at 11:26

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Looks like I'm moving to Indonesia

KirkyV > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 11:27

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I don't need the space, so I'd get a Fiesta ST or a 208 GTi, but I imagine the Focus ST Estate's pretty high up the Jalop hierarchy of cars.

TheBaron2112 > Your boy, BJR 10/30/2013 at 11:30

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Brown has no place on cars that were made after 1990.

Provide examples to the contrary so that I love it. (And I do want to love it!)

King Ginger, not writing for Business Insider > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 11:36

4

The zen answer is "What you are driving now..."

But, I think there are a lot out their currently; these pop into my mind as being affordable, enjoyable, and appropriately counter-culture (or counter-counter-culture):

320i "Jalopnik Edition"
Morgan 3 Wheeler
Jeep Wrangler
C7 Corvette
Toyobarus
V6 Mustang
Caterhams

Future or overpriced alternatives:

Nissan Z (next gen)
M235i
Icon (any of them)
E63 AMG Wagon
Any Cadillac -V badged car

TurboSloth > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 11:42

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Not really related to this thread, but I for one like buying new cars. I know it costs more, but I get the satisfaction of knowing that I'm the first owner, and that the car is a clean slate. I feel like theres more convenience especially when choosing options when color, rather than hunting a car down.

But that's just me. Also, brown is horrible.

Bluecold > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 11:56

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The Jetta is FWD which is the work of the devil. Also, it's a boring commuter car.

530D Touring. RWD manual diesel wagon.

julienjj > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:19

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Stick shift Audi S4.

Or a CTS-Vwagon in opulent blue.

Golf R aint bad either.

spanfucker retire bitch > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:31

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Nope, I agree with you. I have never seen a brown car and thought it looked good.

For Sweden > Casper 10/30/2013 at 12:32

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Like New != New

Speedmonkey > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:32

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Hmmmm. I used to own a Passat diesel estate. Was the single most boring car I've ever owned. Nope. I'd go to the opposite end of the spectrum. Porsche 924S, or even a 944 if you want to slum it

Blze001 > Bluecold 10/30/2013 at 12:33

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RWD manual diesel wagon? Paint that sucker metallic brown and you've nailed the Jalopmobile.

Well, as close as you can get with a new car anyway. A true Jalopmobile would be an El-Camino-ized Volvo 240 Wagon with a diesel engine, stick shift and set up for drifting.

They call me the Beav > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:33

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Brumos59fan > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:33

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Metallic purple Cadillac CTS-V Wagon w/ a manual of course. (Sorry, Doug.)

Shane Elliott > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:33

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For Sweden > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:34

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BeaterGT > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:34

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Pretty sure it's the Jalopnik Edition BMW that was featured some time ago.

Ingaz > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:34

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Miata, miata and a Miata, or perhaps a Miata. Miatas because Mazda and because Miata. Anything else and your account will be banned.

-Jalopnik Management

BimmerDawg > Bluecold 10/30/2013 at 12:35

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Disagree. I've had four manual BMW wagons and enjoy my 2013 JSW TDI 6M just as well. Of course it has coilovers, a rear sway bar, urethane bushings throughout and a tune, but that would've happened to any of my cars anyway. Hard to argue 328 ft. lbs. torque and 45+ mpg.

Alex Cassidy > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:35

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I knew as soon as I read "but if you had to buy a new one" that at least one of you fuckers was going to ignore it.

cazzyodo > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:35

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We need to find out a real answer to this. FP post each day with a poll. Start off with body style, because the wagon vs miata crowds are loud but what is the group's preference, and by how much? Wagon, hatch, coupe, cabrio, truck, whatever.

Next day, engine. 4? 6? 8? 10? 12? diesel? etc.

Next day, manufacturer.

Next day, models.

Next day, decade.

Whatever needs to be done to boil it down to the Jalopnik mascot car. In the process we would find out some interesting stuff about the readers here.

ZaqAtaq > KirkyV 10/30/2013 at 12:36

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I bought one three weeks ago so I gotta agree with this. Price wise I found it to be the best bang for my buck.

Leadbull > For Sweden 10/30/2013 at 12:36

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The used car salesmen were right!

ATX211 > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:36

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Porsche had that Macadamia Metallic that I really thought looked incredible on the 997.

Edit: I See someone already beat me to it.

BATC42 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:36

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You would be better off moving to Europe, we get these too but without the insane price (40k€ in Germany).

darthd > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:37

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o rly?

Forgetful > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:37

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Miata

Toyobaru

V6 Mustang

Anything something something...amino.

HoonGoon > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:37

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I consider my GLI to be the Jalop version of a regular Jetta.

DSC Off > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:37

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What the hell? In Europe, a Diesel wagon Passat is the beigest car you can get. That's what you get when you've simply given up on the hope of a better life. When your wife, kids, dogs and your boss got the better of you, then you get a Diesel VW.

That car is a cry for help, not a "Jalop car".

Vintage1982Benz > Casper 10/30/2013 at 12:38

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Like new ——> new?

Hey, can I interest you in a new gourmet sandwich? It's, like, new.

ATX211 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:39

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Where in the hell is Automatch?

Vintage1982Benz > AW46M3 10/30/2013 at 12:39

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This for sure.

Audistein > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:39

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CTS-V Wagon with a manual:

Swale > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:40

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Sorry guys but I'm with the TheBaron on this one. Brown on cars just makes me think of 70s and 80s Malaise-mobiles.

Sam Payne > Bluecold 10/30/2013 at 12:40

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You can't get that with a manual in the U.S. though, can you?

Audistein > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:40

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Audi RS6 Avant (or CTS-V like my other post):

iliketoeat > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:40

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If I absolutely had to buy a new car in a "real world" scenario, where I didn't win the lottery and I had to pay my own money, it would definitely be a WRX STi. I don't think there is any other new car out there that has a better ratio of fun to price. And it's pretty damn functional too, with 4 doors and a hatch.

PTLmarketingltd > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:41

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I would have thought a true Jalop would have picked a car from 'merica. I mean come on, a brown VW Jetta Wagon diesel...yawn. Why not just buy a beige Toyota Camry? You can't take the Jetta to an AutoX, cruise up in cars n coffee and everyone will think you're a accountant and even your wife will look at you and say "brown, really honey, BROWN?? We're getting a divorce."

My vote, Cadillac CTS4 Wagon with a manual, and if you live in a climate without snow get the CTS V (rwd is deadly up here in Canada in the winters)

LWMartin > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:41

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Isn't the answer fairly obvious...

Sam Payne > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:41

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Manual CTS-V wagon

Maxaxle > For Sweden 10/30/2013 at 12:41

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Er, maybe not this one.

Maxaxle > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:42

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Brown CAN be a nice color, it just needs to be on the right car.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:42

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I'm rather partial to the Fiat 500 new and eventually used. I think there will be some fun things the aftermarket guys and shadetree mechanics will be able to do with them.

Viperfan1 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:42

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I'm sorry. Sporty wagons are cool. Brown is a cool color. TDI is awesome. 6MT FTMFW.

But a TDI VW Jetta in brown even with a stick?

NO. I'll have respect for you, but I won't ever want to try to drive it.

That being said, my choice is: WRX Wagon, BRZ, or S5.

mathiassssss > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:43

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Good car all around, great colour! A sensible choice.
But if I was in the market for a wagon I'd get the V60.

Because Volvo>Volkswagen

sectachrome > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:43

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M135i?

For Sweden > Maxaxle 10/30/2013 at 12:43

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You're a bad person.

Forgetnomore > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:44

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Brown Miura, wallpaper sized for your convenience.

Crazyloki > Bluecold 10/30/2013 at 12:44

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Not everybody can afford a BMW plus the large future repair bills.

505 - morphine not found > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:44

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This has to stop right here, right now.

A brown diesel jetta wagon with a manual? That would be among the least Jalop cars in Europe. For me that's the same a Prius seems to be for you, Americans.

Literally hundreds of thousands of travelling agents, junior accounts and their ilk use the diesel manual wagons to get around their area of operations. Why? Because that's the cheapest, most efficient way. These are among the blandest cars you can get in good old Europe. I understand they have a certain wow factor for you Americans, but what stands with oldtimers, stands here as well: the fact it's rare, does not make it desirable. Or at least it shouldn't.

A diesel manual wagon is a good, efficient way to transport your goods, stuff or family for that matter. But being Jalop? No, sorry.

My choice for most Jalop new car? A Porsche Cayman S with manual, and without all the funny gimmics you can buy at Porsche. Pure, simple, honest driving machine, with enough power, and balance like zen.

Bytemite > Casper 10/30/2013 at 12:44

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This guy probably cannot figure out why he gets all these stomachaches from eating like, fresh food.

Mike135 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:44

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Maybe I'm too new of a member.. maybe 2 years here, but why do we care about brown wagons? Honestly?

Maxaxle > cazzyodo 10/30/2013 at 12:44

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Engine: Obviously diesel, most likely V6 or V8.
Manufacturer: If massive engine, then domestic. If medium-sized engine, then European. If small engine with amazing power output, then Japanese or Korean.
Model: A station wagon!
Decade: ...'90s?

Viperfan1 > cazzyodo 10/30/2013 at 12:45

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I agree. We need one of those March madness tournaments for best new Jalopcar. Just like they did for muscle cars recently.

DasTurboWagen > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:45

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I love that VW color. It was a tough decision between that Toffee Brown Metallic and Platinum Gray when I was getting my Jetta but gray won out. Plus brown would not have went as well with the black steelies and VW center caps...

Moves-Like-Senna > Sam Payne 10/30/2013 at 12:45

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Depends how badly you want one ;)

z0mbietr0ll > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:46

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It's a bit of a hot hatch, a bit of a station wagon, and a whole lot of money saved on gas :)

The Stig Farmer > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:46

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BMW 535d M-Sport Touring. Also a capable hoonmobile:

tbp0701 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:46

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Will I have my posting rights removed if I say I bought a 2012 Mazda 3 last year? In the sedan version with the Skyactiv engine? It does have a manual transmission, at least. (After my 2000 Accord Coupe with 200K miles failed to start for the first time ever I decided I really should go buy something for my 82-mile per day commutes. I had test driven about every car I could find with a manual and decided the Mazda made the most sense, even compared to a used BMW 328i, Infiniti G35, Subaru Legacy GT and Acura TSX).

4 cam torino is presently broken > PTLmarketingltd 10/30/2013 at 12:46

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There's no manual AWD CTS. There's AWD, there was a manual, you couldn't get them together though.

TheSergeMeister > Sam Payne 10/30/2013 at 12:46

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not all of us live in the US

chromaticrabbit > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:46

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Obviously, with no budgetary restrictions, some exotic hypercar, or at least something with pedigree like a BMW M-series or Audi S-series. Maybe part of being Jalop is making do with what you can afford, which is why I like stuff like the Mazdaspeed3, Focus ST, WRX STi, etc.

Forgetnomore > King Ginger, not writing for Business Insider 10/30/2013 at 12:47

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Forgot Miata. Otherwise complete list.

apocalypsedonkeypunch > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:47

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A used car, simple as that Jalops believe that any car you didn't have before is a new car.

venivelovici > They call me the Beav 10/30/2013 at 12:48

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Came here to post a 997 Targa in brown. This pic will do the job, though.

Incognigro > cazzyodo 10/30/2013 at 12:48

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I like this idea very much +1

Maxaxle > For Sweden 10/30/2013 at 12:49

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They didn't do it right; it's TOO brown.

satalac > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:49

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New, I'd say the Focus ST. Turbo hatchback that handles well for not that much money. Plus, the Recaro seats are awesome!.

Used (because we're jalops and we can't forget the past!) Subaru Forester XT. Turbocharged. Wagon-ish. Available with a manual. AWD. STi parts fit nicely on it. Basically, Turbocharged AWD Rallywagon.

I miss mine very much.

marshknute > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:49

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Forester guy > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:50

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Nice, here at the house we have one of those..but its with that weird 2.5L inline 5...and its in Grey blueish, with caramel interior.

I still count it as a win though

Bytemite > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:50

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a dookie brown colored front wheel drive, bloated wagon. Sounds like so much fun. I would totally choose this over the lightweight, rwd coupe that is in the same price range.

A-J-I > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:50

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I quite like brown cars. I quite like wagons. I quite like manual transmissions. Diesel I can take or leave.

But to paraphrase a well-known saying, four rights don't make a right. A diesel Jetta wagon is among the most boring combinations I can possibly think of, and no amount of stick shifts will convince me otherwise. It's the sort of car people in the UK buy when they want a "safe" purchase and can't be bothered researching anything more interesting.

On the plus side, there are lots of diesel, manual wagons available over here, many in brown and some of them even RWD. Of these, a Mercedes-Benz C250 CDI Estate, in Dolomite Brown Metallic and with a standard six-speed manual would probably be my choice (from the Merc configurator):

Except really, the Mercedes I currently covet is a CLA 220 CDI with an auto 'box, which isn't very Jalopnik at all.

BonusMaximus > Forgetnomore 10/30/2013 at 12:51

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I think a Morgan 3-wheeler pulling a trailer for cargo would be pretty Jalop. It would handle like shit, probably, but high on the ol' Jalopoboner-meter.

Shanon Wagner > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:52

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ZPS + ZMT

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Jonathon Klein > King Ginger, not writing for Business Insider 10/30/2013 at 12:52

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Also Ariel Atom either in 300 or 500hp ratings!

deekster_caddy > Swale 10/30/2013 at 12:52

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I'm there too. Brown works on my '73 Buick. Not so much on these exotics you guys are posting.

VashVashVash > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:52

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Disqualified due to spinning the wrong wheels.

kevinafrica > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:53

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kevinafrica > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:54

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DasWolf13 > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:54

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With the sunroof and the cornhusk color Vtex leather. Yep that is the car!!!

waddawednesday > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:54

4

PilotMan > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:55

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How about a two-door, part time-RWD wagon?

Base Jeep Wrangler with a manual transmission and a limited slip. Dang fun to drive around town and off road. Easy to work on and affordable at a low starting MSRP.

J-Tenno > ZaqAtaq 10/30/2013 at 12:55

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How is it?

marshknute > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:55

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The Jetta scores quite poorly on the Jalopnik Meter.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

0 Points for 4-banger

-10 Points for latitudinally mounted

0 Points for FWD

-10 Points for being a Jetta (see country of origin)

0 Points for low horsepower

-20 Points for cupholders

Shawn Wayne > BrownMiataDieselWagon 10/30/2013 at 12:56

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Subaru BRZ.
RWD, Manual, small, light, fun.

Audi A3 TDI.
Because wagon, European, Manual, Diesel.

Sam Payne > TheSergeMeister 10/30/2013 at 12:56

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I know, but I do, and I want this so badly

funnigan > TheBaron2112 10/30/2013 at 12:57

2